Friday, November 13, 2015

On his food poisoning

As much as I love Hon's on Robson, they're the most likely culprits in my current bout of food poisoning, since I had no symptoms until about five hours after I ate there.

After which I began with sulphurous belches and intestinal rumblings. Made it through my job and part of a concert (see below), but by the time we went to bed, around 11pm, I knew I'd be getting up to poop a few times, at the very least, and that very likely, my girl and I would both be having a mostly sleepless night.

Flash forward until 2am, and I've been getting up every hour or so for increasingly liquid bowel movements, squirting from an increasingly raw pucker, accompanied by vile belches and unholy, resonant flatulence. Then came the vomiting, choking up one spew, then another round of it by 3am, more of the projectile kind... then again, then again, with chunks of the Vietnamese food we'd had for dinner (after my symptoms had begun, but still undigested in me) decorating the bathroom, since it's very hard to aim projectile vomit all that well... head throbbing, picking up bits of half-digested vermicelli off the bathroom floor with a tissue, then staggering back stinking to bed (I did brush my teeth after each round, note).

So here I am, not working, zoned out and exhausted, still not feeling right but I seem to have purged the system well enough. Going to read a Harry Bosch book (The Drop) and maybe rest a bit more. I really like Hon's but generally speaking restaurants don't stay on my list after an experience like this... it's almost akin to the vows of an alcoholic as he pukes into the bowl - "never again, Jesus, ah swear!"


David M. said...

Disgusting! Great!

Allan MacInnis said...

I managed to crack the toilet seat while crapping, too.

David M. said...

Did you at any time consider a trip to Switzerland?