I don't know why, but I've been having very active, intense dreams lately. Lack of caffeine? More exercise than usual? Nice weather? I feel like I'm sleeping and dreaming more deeply than I normally do.
In one, I am to receive some sort of blessing for my virtues. I have to pick it up at a departments store, but the staff are incompetent and I have to leave and come back later. I leave. On the way back to the store, later in the evening, I travel with my mother, walking through dark woods. En route, we witness a child being fiercely, abusively scolded and hit by his parents; I lecture some Christian rock fans about the way the crucifixion actually felt, including a rather odd detail involving Christ being beheaded; and I am confronted with various people from my past, whom I treat rudely and impatiently. I become very obnoxious -- why do I have to deal with all these idiots? Don't these people understand that I'm blessed, that I'm special? My tirades against former friends and my impatience with my parents makes it clear that I have long since lost the right to receive any such blessing...
In another dream, the Japanese holocaust denier that I know, with whose attempts to befriend me I had to try to find some way to cope, when I lived in Japan, is back in my life and wants me to help him murder someone in his family. (You can read my account of that, under my former alias, Pemmican, here). I play along with him, letting him think that I will help him; really I am planning to betray him and turn him over to the police. I wake feeling disloyal, a hypocrite, a turncoat.
In yet another dream, I have a large quantity of LSD which I'm sharing with people; I take some, and get very high myself -- and in the dream, it really feels like I'm on acid; I recall even thinking, with surprise, that it felt very real for a dream (when I wake up, the feeling lingers and it takes awhile to return to my normal mindset). At one point, high, I am looking at my face in the mirror, and discover that a large patch of flesh beneath my left eye has turned into a rotting mass of pus and decay; I squeeze out the fluids, my skin soft and grey.
I often have dreams where I'm looking for something or someone which I am responsible for and which I know is in danger, but which I can't locate; or trying to solve some mystery; or trying to fight some great evil, which constantly overpowers me, changing forms and tactics, hiding in the world around me, turning on me out of nowhere with great malignancy and force. I'm sure I've had a few dreams that fit this pattern, too, but none are clear. I'm finding these dreams quite interesting, lately; somehow it seems like a good thing.